I'm falling head over heels for a guy I can't have...

I think the title says it all... Feelings suck.

I'm so close guys...

So.. I am happy to say that I graduate May 25th... which is..  NOT THAT FAR AWAYY! I am literally so excited.. but yet I am also kinda sad.. I know these next few weeks are going to fly.by.. being that we have Spring break.. Senior skip day.. Senior camp out day.. UGH I can't believe all my hard work is finally paying off... 12 long years finally well almost over with.. & then .. It's off to college for me for the next four years ! :) I actually just got my stuff for graduation day Friday so of course I was super emotional! lol.


Then after graduation is SENIOR WEEK! Which will be fun.. Right now I'm just worried about getting through the third quarter of school.. Always the hardest & the quarter that takes forever to pass by... So many tests, projects, quizzes due... 

When is you guys graduation date that is.. if you're a senior?

What's something you will miss about high school! COMMENT BELOW!

Yuck.. love. Boys have cooties... Did we forget that ladies?

So.. Valentines Day is about three days away & I couldn't be more thrilled!!

Did you catch on to my sarcasm there? lol..

Valentines Day is really nothing special for me.. in fact I will be spending it at home watching Gossip Girl & maybe cleaning my house. I've never really been a big fan of you know the HUGE teddy bears & all the roses & chocolate. My thing is.. You really want to show me you appreciate me? Let's just hang out .. have a movie night.. eat junk food.. & talk about random stuff all night. You don't have to spend wads of money to show a girl you care.. It's the simple things that mean the most. Unfortunately, like I said I'm spending Valentines Day with no one.. just like it's been the past.. oh I don't know 17 years? haha. There's really only one guy that comes to mind.. but you know things don't always work as planned & you don't always get what you want. All that matters is he's happy! Right? :)

So to all you .. lovey dovey teenagers & couples in general out there.. I hope you all have a GREAT Valentines Day! Show your significant other how much they mean to you! Don't let the opportunity pass to tell them how much they mean to you because time is so priceless.. 

But really though.. boys have cooties.

Ew.

To the guy who will NEVER see this..

I've honestly never been able to tell you how I feel so here I am.. You want me to be honest? Well I have to be honest with you about everything not just a couple of things..

I wouldn't say that I liked you because.. it's not "liked" . It's like. or is it? I DON'T KNOW HOW I FEEL.. I could tell you I don't like you until I'm blue in the face but when I see that you like someone else or talk about someone else.. I get so.. jealous & I shouldn't because.. I'm the one who pushed you away. Lol.. I don't get it. Please just explain to me why I have to feel this way.. or why I had to have feelings toward you. I don't want to feel this way.. at all. I don't want to constantly worry or wonder what could have happened. I don't want to know that every time I talk to you or see you at a game that you're with someone who makes you so happy & I.. 

well I am just a friend there for support.. to talk with times get tough..

I want you to be honest with me.. how do you feel..?

If today was your last day to talk to me.. forever.. you'd never get to speak to me again what exactly would you say...?

Be honest with me.. 

That's all.. 

If you're reading this right now.. then you obviously know how I feel.. but I've yet to get the slightest clue as to what you're thinking.. things are so up and down it's hard to tell . 

Trust me I've tried so hard to just drop it and move on.. & you know what.. the second I really thought I was moving on from liking you last year.. You somehow popped right back into my life. 

Don't get me wrong, I'm glad your here.. but it's just.. 

Do I want to get hurt again?

That's the real question.

I'm back.. alright let's talk...

HEY GUYS! So.. I know you all are probably wondering where I have been.. considering it's been a couple of months since I last posted. Well, senior year has taken a toll on me! I have so much studying and homework and activities outside of school for school that it is just.. woah. A bit overwhelming! Haha but I wouldn't change it for a thing I love being a busy bee! I thought I would just put up a post not anything to interesting or exciting and let you guys know I'm still here. I know I haven't been as active as I should be but still.. I care a lot about this blog and continue to put it to good use!

So today I wanted to bring up and issue that has been heavily debated worldwide and that's suicidal thoughts/depression. If anything had to upset me or hurt me it would be to see how many teenagers battle such horrible things. I am here to not only make you laugh on this blog but to be a friend if that's the case. If you have ever been depressed/had suicidal thoughts or if you currently are just know that I am here for you. Whether it be two in the morning.. four in the afternoon.. it doesn't matter! I will try to get back to you as soon as possible! I hope that by me writing this you get some insight as to just how precious and valuable your life is. Don't just throw it all away.. God has a purpose for you!! Let Him work wonders.. Let Him take you far in life.. more importantly let Him love.you. I pray for you.. I pray things will get better with time.. I pray that you find the courage and strength to confide in someone and let them be there to help you and support you! Please understand how valuable your life is.. there will never be another you! Never.. and you're so unique, God made you special.. one of a kind.. I know sometimes it may feel like you've hit rock bottom but trust me.. You will make it through! You're strong.. you can turn your life upside down and around.. you can strive to make things better! All it takes its.. a little effort. That's it.. I believe in every single one of you.. that no matter what life throws at you.. you won't let it knock you off your feet. Please don't hesitate to message me if you're going through a tough time! 

Why is it...

Why is it that guys can flirt all day long but when you actually want something serious it's such a big deal. I've had enough flirting to last a life time! I want someone who I can trust... ... and just simply be.happy. Oh.. & I have come to the conclusion that most guys don't want an individual who is kind.. and has a great personality. They want someone with the most money.. and the greatest body. They could care less about how someone truly is within. & that my friends is why relationships don't normally work out. They go in all sorts of different directions and at the end of the day it's usually the girl that get's hurt! Maybe she got cheated on.. or lied to.. is there any decent guys still in this world? I mean.. not to put down all guys because I have some friends who are very nice and respectful but the majority is what I'm concerned about.

Imperfections truly are beauty

How would you describe an imperfection? What are they?

Well.. Imperfections to me are those little things we can't stand about ourselves that make us feel insecure..

& yes every one has them

My imperfections? Well.. My weight would probably be my main one..  but acne.. my smile.. there's a lot of things that make me feel insecure at times.

What I have learned over the years though... Is that these things make you DIFFERENT & unique .. They make each of us different in some way! Imagine a world where everyone looked the exact same.. had the exact same personality and ect... How boring would the world be?

God created us the way he wanted us.. flaws and all. 

Many many mannnny teen girls and some teen guys get bullied each & every day for their flaws.. Maybe they're a little over weight.. or weird.. or have bad acne.

I'm here to tell you that it's OKAY. That there are still people in this world who won't judge you or bully you..

I'm a person who is against bully.. I strongly strongly dislike it.. Don't ever think you don't have anyone to come to for advice .. If you all ever need someone to talk to don't hesitate to message me !

Getting old ~ !

Happyyyyyyyy... birthday to me! Happy birthday to meeeee!



Well.. not yet anyways! 


Yet another birthday is fixing to roll around, and I cannot believe it.. Soon I will be old.. D:


But! My birthday is Thursday and I'm pretty excited ! I would love it if you guys could send me some letters through email for my birthday for me to read! It would for sure make my day! I love talking to you guys.. So why not send me a 'Happy Birthday Letter' ?


OH! Also.. I've recently put together another blog as well! Exciting I know..

It's my photography blog.. Will be used to store all my photos I take when I go on trips.. Maybe you'd like to check it out sometime ! Just lemme' know! :)



Thanks guys!

P.S. I know my blogging schedule is kinda off.. So I'm going to try & blog EVERY Tuesday & Thursday! :) 

Forgiveness is tough.. but holding a grudge is worse.

So... when you think of the word forgiveness what comes to mind? 


These past few days i've really been taking my life and consideration & just reflecting back on everything that has happened of the years. One thing I've always had trouble with is forgiveness... whether it be something stupid and pointless or something HUGE.


I think now more than ever I need to be forgiving others.. I've come to a point in my life where.. friends have turned into the unknown.. Those who said they would always be there for me and never leave me side.. 

Yea they left..

Those who promised to stay through thick and thin..

They left tooo..

It really saddens me that I've had to lose so many friends along the way but time changes everything.. But, the closer I become to God the more I realize I need to be forgiving others.. Even those who have done me wrong. Because, in all reality how can we expect God to forgive us for all our sins if I can't even forgive a single person for a careless mistake..

I'm not at the point where I can say I forgive you to the person face to face so why not write & vent here?

I forgive those who have ever bullied me or others.
I forgive those who have left my side
I forgive those who doubted me even for a second at my lowest points.
I forgive those who have done me wrong & lied to me whether it be for my own good or theirs.
I forgive those who have ever hurt me.

Is it easier to forgive or forget? Comment your opinions below!

Oh no she didnt......

So.. i've been looking for inspiration for new blog topics/ideas.. Well! I found one that said.. "Write about your most embarrasing memory".. Me being the quirky .. nerdy.. individual I am have a lot of moments when i've been embarrassed so why not tell you some of my own.Just as long as you promise not to go back & tell all my friends.. Shhhh.


My most embarrassing memory I have for this latest school year (Junior Year) would be when I came back from Christmas break. You know the routine.. everyone gets new clothes and expensive things soo.. they decide to show em off a bit! Well.. I decided to wear some of my new clothing . BAD IDEA. I was walking into school and as I turned the corner I felt something wet.. So, I looked down to see I was practically standing in a puddle of water where the water fountain had over flown. Well.. I kinda shrugged it off and managed to move out of the water.. well the moment I stepped out of the water I went off the ground and about 3 feet in the air. I slipt. Oh! & did I mention that I had a cup of orange juice in my hand that managed to spill in the process and just go all over the front of my shirt.. I was so embarrassed I started laughing so I wouldn't begin to cry. I mean.. when I hit the floor you could hear a thump. I was soaked beyond belief... With that being said I had to go home and change before school even started.. Did I mention this happened in front of a large group of people.. Ugh only me... lol

Whats the most embarrassing thing thats ever happened to you?! Comment! I'd love to hear your stories.

My life as of now.. well the majority of it ! lol

You know.. I've never been one to complain about being out of school.. but as of right now. I am more than ready for senior year to begin! Friday I get to go in and take my senior yearbook photo.. I am excited yet nervous. Because let's face it.. my smile is.. lets just say.. not the best. That's probably one of my top insecurities. Maybe I will just do one of my funny gestures and stick out my tounge lol. Senior year has lots instore for me.. Student council.. Teacher Cadet.. Yearbook staff.. and not to mention some honors classes I have.. I have to start applying for scholarships.. Actually decided what career I want to pursue.. Visit different colleges.. SOOO.MUCHHH. omg. I'm kinda scared about going to live on campus and being away from my family.. I'm sort of a home body if you couldn't already tell.. Lol... But as of right now things seem to be going good! I actually had a lot of fun today my dad gave my brother a hair cut.. & I got to help! Scary I know... lol but I think he likes it.. and hey! Saves us a couple bucks. Maybe I will cut hair for a living.. lol na. I'd probably make someone bald D: Relationship wise.. I'm still single.. lol just like I was when I created this blog. Umm.. I do like this guy but I feel things wouldn't work out for certain reasons... 

I have a question for you guys..

If you really like someone and you are apart of one religion but they don't necessarily agree.. what do you do? would the relationship work out?

Comment your opinions below! I'd LOVE to hear from you guys!! :)

Class of 2016 babbbyyyyyy

Well.. in about 10 more days I will finally be able to call myself a Senior! All the hardwork has finally paid off & I couldn't be happier.. the never ending 12 years is finally coming to a close.. but i'm not going to waste away my Senior year. You best believe i'm going to make it something I cheerish for a life time! It's crazy to even think that this time next year.. I will be about a week from graduating!!! How crazyyyy... to be honest I don't even know if i'm ready to.. I mean what's it going to feel like packing up my stuff and moving to college.. not being home every night and seeing my family.. I'm afraid that the friends I have made throughout highschool will become a faint memory... I'm so excited to see where God takes me throughout this journey yet at the same time.. Nervous. My senior year I plan to blog a lot more... giving yall the first person insight into my senior year.. I want to capture the memories and hey maybe even share them with you all! I pray to God that I don't wish away my life quickly.. These 12 years have not been easy and more importantly Junior year has not been easy! Such a challenging grade... so much more effort has to be put in and honestly I think I have worked my butt off to be where I am today! Well.. with the help of God, family, and friends toooo of course! :) I hope to look back on this one day and let myself never forget all the good times I shared and to never.. EVER forget the ones who mean the most to me..I'm so excited to see what plans God has instore for me! Whether it be what career I will choose..or even where the wind may take me...! All my life i've wanted to be a nurse.. and who knows! I may very well become a nurse.. but I met someone Junior year that completly impacted my life.. A teacher of mine.. She has taught me the true defintion of an amazing teacher.. She inspires me and so many ways & has truly helped me out ! There was a time during my Junior year.. not to long ago actually where a good friend of mine passed away.. well she helped not only me but our entire class to get back on our feet again.. and I could never thank her enough. I would love to one day inspire someone in the way that she has inspired me.. I would love to be someone that an individual looks up to for guidance.. Who knows.. we will just have to wait a couple years and see where life takes me... ! It's going to be a crazy ride.. but theres no doubt about it .. I'm up for it!

Reaching out doesn't mean your weak .. it makes you stronger !

As an individual who's being bullied or feeling alone: ..you could scream from the mountain tops and never be heard.You could wear the brightest clothing yet still.. never be recognized. You could have the most soothing and calming voice yet never be heard or listened to.. There are thousands of teens who feel this way every.single.day. Those who feel like..they don't matter or no one would ever care about them.. There's those who get bullied every single day whether it be at school or a matter of fact anywhere in public. It breaks my heart to see so many individuals taking their own lives because they feel they don't have another way out.. I feel sorry for those who cut to numb the pain only if it does last for a few quick seconds... I'm here to tell each and every one of you.. Those who feel lonely .. hurt.. betrayed..I am here for you ! I will make time to talk to you if you're hurting! Don't ever think for a second that no one cares about you because I do! Shoot me an email.. comment below.. there's plenty of ways you can get in contact with me! Don't feel ashamed to ask for help.. no I don't know everything or know all the answers but I am willing to listen and be a shoulder to cry on! It's nice to have support from more than just friends or family.. turn towards God! Talk to him.. confide in him .. and I promise you won't regret it ! God works miracles <3