I'm falling head over heels for a guy I can't have...

I think the title says it all... Feelings suck.

I'm so close guys...

So.. I am happy to say that I graduate May 25th... which is..  NOT THAT FAR AWAYY! I am literally so excited.. but yet I am also kinda sad.. I know these next few weeks are going to fly.by.. being that we have Spring break.. Senior skip day.. Senior camp out day.. UGH I can't believe all my hard work is finally paying off... 12 long years finally well almost over with.. & then .. It's off to college for me for the next four years ! :) I actually just got my stuff for graduation day Friday so of course I was super emotional! lol.


Then after graduation is SENIOR WEEK! Which will be fun.. Right now I'm just worried about getting through the third quarter of school.. Always the hardest & the quarter that takes forever to pass by... So many tests, projects, quizzes due... 

When is you guys graduation date that is.. if you're a senior?

What's something you will miss about high school! COMMENT BELOW!

Yuck.. love. Boys have cooties... Did we forget that ladies?

So.. Valentines Day is about three days away & I couldn't be more thrilled!!

Did you catch on to my sarcasm there? lol..

Valentines Day is really nothing special for me.. in fact I will be spending it at home watching Gossip Girl & maybe cleaning my house. I've never really been a big fan of you know the HUGE teddy bears & all the roses & chocolate. My thing is.. You really want to show me you appreciate me? Let's just hang out .. have a movie night.. eat junk food.. & talk about random stuff all night. You don't have to spend wads of money to show a girl you care.. It's the simple things that mean the most. Unfortunately, like I said I'm spending Valentines Day with no one.. just like it's been the past.. oh I don't know 17 years? haha. There's really only one guy that comes to mind.. but you know things don't always work as planned & you don't always get what you want. All that matters is he's happy! Right? :)

So to all you .. lovey dovey teenagers & couples in general out there.. I hope you all have a GREAT Valentines Day! Show your significant other how much they mean to you! Don't let the opportunity pass to tell them how much they mean to you because time is so priceless.. 

But really though.. boys have cooties.

Ew.

To the guy who will NEVER see this..

I've honestly never been able to tell you how I feel so here I am.. You want me to be honest? Well I have to be honest with you about everything not just a couple of things..

I wouldn't say that I liked you because.. it's not "liked" . It's like. or is it? I DON'T KNOW HOW I FEEL.. I could tell you I don't like you until I'm blue in the face but when I see that you like someone else or talk about someone else.. I get so.. jealous & I shouldn't because.. I'm the one who pushed you away. Lol.. I don't get it. Please just explain to me why I have to feel this way.. or why I had to have feelings toward you. I don't want to feel this way.. at all. I don't want to constantly worry or wonder what could have happened. I don't want to know that every time I talk to you or see you at a game that you're with someone who makes you so happy & I.. 

well I am just a friend there for support.. to talk with times get tough..

I want you to be honest with me.. how do you feel..?

If today was your last day to talk to me.. forever.. you'd never get to speak to me again what exactly would you say...?

Be honest with me.. 

That's all.. 

If you're reading this right now.. then you obviously know how I feel.. but I've yet to get the slightest clue as to what you're thinking.. things are so up and down it's hard to tell . 

Trust me I've tried so hard to just drop it and move on.. & you know what.. the second I really thought I was moving on from liking you last year.. You somehow popped right back into my life. 

Don't get me wrong, I'm glad your here.. but it's just.. 

Do I want to get hurt again?

That's the real question.

So Not Cool Saturday...

BACK TO OLD TRADITIONS!

So.. I haven't posted one of these posts in a LONG time .. You know.. It goes like this.. I tell an embarrassing story and you all laugh at me right? Lol that's okay though.. I enjoy making others laugh... just as long as you're laughing with me and not at me!:) So.. Let me think.

OH! Okay.. I've got a pretty embarrassing memory to share.. I think it was freshman year when this happened.. So, let me just start off by saying I LOVE going to plays. I find drama & acting to be super fascinating and cool. I know I know.. Complete nerd but anyways! That's besides the point.. So I had decided to go to the Grease play with my best friend & we decided to sit on the very top row.. well, there was SO many people there & obviously the show was great! Well.. before an intermission was called me and my friend decided we wanted to get up and I assume get some food before the crowd let out for intermission.. well there was no way for us to get out because again there was so many people so we decided to step up over the seats. Well, my friend did it in such a calm and orderly manor .. Well I was like hey! I can do that.. I go to step over the chair and my leg falls in between the seat. Also, let it be known that it became super quiet when I fell .. Every one around started to look around and it was just.. so embarrassing.. also it was the fact that my leg was STUCK & I started to panic which.. we all know worrying makes things ten times worse. But.. thankfully I ended up laughing it off... shrugging it off and of course getting my leg unstuck! XD So.. that night wasn't to terribly bad!!

Bahamas Vacation: Free Port & Nassau 2016

Hey guys! It's taken me forever to finally getting around to upload these pictures but since I've had some free time I thought .. What better time to upload pictures and write a post then now?! SO.. here I am!! I'm surprised I'm actually taking a break from watching Gossip Girl. I have surprisingly become obsessed with the series! Well.. my trip to the Bahamas was amazing! I wish I was still there but unfortunately we all have to come home at some point right? lol can't stay hidden away in paradise forever right? Well .. hope you enjoy the pictures I captured while cruising!!

Leave me some ideas for post's?

Sometimes .. It just never seems that I will meet prince charming.. the one who is suppose to sweep me off my feet and take my breath away.. Every guy I seem to run into isn't serious nor do they want something real.. but we're still in high school and I guess that's the perks of being in high school still right? Immaturity and drama galore.. I've been so busy and stressed with school that I haven't had the chance to catch you guys up on what's been going on! I am currently on Christmas break and about half way through my senior year of high school! It's so crazy to think that it is almost January! Any other school year and time would've passed by extremely sloooooow. Each and every day I get more and more excited thinking about college but at the same time I am also sad. I've always been told to cherish the memories in high school because one- you can't get them back, and two-you're going to look back someday and wish you could go back to such a simpler time. I'm scared to see what my future holds for me.. Wouldn't it be amazing if we could somehow fast forward to see if things turn out good for us.. Like do we finish college.. find a job.. have a family.. and most importantly see if we are happy... I do agree that would be so super duper cool but God is in control and I know that His plan for me is far greater than anything I could EVER imagine so I will let things take it's course and let God lead me down whatever path He may be pulling me toward! I know that my journey these next couple of months/years will be rocky but I am totally up for the challenge! I'm wanting to blog more.. I know I know.. I say this every time but I'm serious..! I just need some tips or ideas for my blog..Maybe some posts you would like to see being put up!

Leave me some ideas below! 

I'm back.. alright let's talk...

HEY GUYS! So.. I know you all are probably wondering where I have been.. considering it's been a couple of months since I last posted. Well, senior year has taken a toll on me! I have so much studying and homework and activities outside of school for school that it is just.. woah. A bit overwhelming! Haha but I wouldn't change it for a thing I love being a busy bee! I thought I would just put up a post not anything to interesting or exciting and let you guys know I'm still here. I know I haven't been as active as I should be but still.. I care a lot about this blog and continue to put it to good use!

So today I wanted to bring up and issue that has been heavily debated worldwide and that's suicidal thoughts/depression. If anything had to upset me or hurt me it would be to see how many teenagers battle such horrible things. I am here to not only make you laugh on this blog but to be a friend if that's the case. If you have ever been depressed/had suicidal thoughts or if you currently are just know that I am here for you. Whether it be two in the morning.. four in the afternoon.. it doesn't matter! I will try to get back to you as soon as possible! I hope that by me writing this you get some insight as to just how precious and valuable your life is. Don't just throw it all away.. God has a purpose for you!! Let Him work wonders.. Let Him take you far in life.. more importantly let Him love.you. I pray for you.. I pray things will get better with time.. I pray that you find the courage and strength to confide in someone and let them be there to help you and support you! Please understand how valuable your life is.. there will never be another you! Never.. and you're so unique, God made you special.. one of a kind.. I know sometimes it may feel like you've hit rock bottom but trust me.. You will make it through! You're strong.. you can turn your life upside down and around.. you can strive to make things better! All it takes its.. a little effort. That's it.. I believe in every single one of you.. that no matter what life throws at you.. you won't let it knock you off your feet. Please don't hesitate to message me if you're going through a tough time! 

Lately I've been feeling bleh...

You know those days when you just feel bleh..? Yea that's totally me right now. Boys have got me all twisted in my feelings. Friends have me wondering if I even have any friends.. It's just a mess to say the least! At least I have God and my family though! Oh and 93.3 on the radio <3 I think I've become somewhat obsessed with this radio station. I don't know.. Oh a plus to this weekend is that it's actually been pretty.. GREAT! I've been pretty busy! Friday I went to a few haunted houses and let me just say they were AMAZINGG! Only down side was that... It was FREEZING.. from the time I stepped out of the car until the time I got back into the car I was shivering lol. We went to two places they both were equally good! Was very impressed with them both! & of course afterwards we had to stop by waffle house and eat something I mean come on.. what better thing to do at three in the morning! lol.. Yesterday I went to the movies to see the new Goosebumps movie.. It was so so good! I highly recommend that you go see it if you haven't already! Don't say no because you're a teen or anything like that because I'm currently seventeen and I LOVED it ! :) Now I'm just chilling and relaxing on this peaceful Sunday! Because.. Sadly, it's back to school tomorrow! I already have senior fever and it's not even the first of the year.. Still can't process the thought of me graduating in a few short months.. These couple of months are going to FLY BY!

Why is it...

Why is it that guys can flirt all day long but when you actually want something serious it's such a big deal. I've had enough flirting to last a life time! I want someone who I can trust... ... and just simply be.happy. Oh.. & I have come to the conclusion that most guys don't want an individual who is kind.. and has a great personality. They want someone with the most money.. and the greatest body. They could care less about how someone truly is within. & that my friends is why relationships don't normally work out. They go in all sorts of different directions and at the end of the day it's usually the girl that get's hurt! Maybe she got cheated on.. or lied to.. is there any decent guys still in this world? I mean.. not to put down all guys because I have some friends who are very nice and respectful but the majority is what I'm concerned about.

Is this real life..

guys... today I went outside to check the mail box for like the 500th time these past two weeks & I finally got my acceptance letter! I'm going to college! & to make it even better it's the college I've dreamed of going to. Every time I would ride past it i'd be just so amazed at how beautiful the campus was! Now.. next fall I will get to call it my home away from home! I literally was crying today.. No. Joke.

I think it's so amazing how God works.. He blessed me with this opportunity...

He just works in amazing mysterious ways!

Every where I went after that today I blared my Christian playlist from the internet and basically just jammed out !

I literally felt so emotional today knowing that things are finally sinking in and setting into place..

A huge hardship has been lifted off my shoulders.. I don't have to worry about what i'm going to do after highschool or if i'm going to be able to get into college.. I'm so happy and content with the choice I made..

I feel that this University will welcome me with open arms and their love for God is never ending and that make's me love it 10x more! I can't wait to see where this journey takes me !

Getting old ~ !

Happyyyyyyyy... birthday to me! Happy birthday to meeeee!



Well.. not yet anyways! 


Yet another birthday is fixing to roll around, and I cannot believe it.. Soon I will be old.. D:


But! My birthday is Thursday and I'm pretty excited ! I would love it if you guys could send me some letters through email for my birthday for me to read! It would for sure make my day! I love talking to you guys.. So why not send me a 'Happy Birthday Letter' ?


OH! Also.. I've recently put together another blog as well! Exciting I know..

It's my photography blog.. Will be used to store all my photos I take when I go on trips.. Maybe you'd like to check it out sometime ! Just lemme' know! :)



Thanks guys!

P.S. I know my blogging schedule is kinda off.. So I'm going to try & blog EVERY Tuesday & Thursday! :) 

Forgiveness is tough.. but holding a grudge is worse.

So... when you think of the word forgiveness what comes to mind? 


These past few days i've really been taking my life and consideration & just reflecting back on everything that has happened of the years. One thing I've always had trouble with is forgiveness... whether it be something stupid and pointless or something HUGE.


I think now more than ever I need to be forgiving others.. I've come to a point in my life where.. friends have turned into the unknown.. Those who said they would always be there for me and never leave me side.. 

Yea they left..

Those who promised to stay through thick and thin..

They left tooo..

It really saddens me that I've had to lose so many friends along the way but time changes everything.. But, the closer I become to God the more I realize I need to be forgiving others.. Even those who have done me wrong. Because, in all reality how can we expect God to forgive us for all our sins if I can't even forgive a single person for a careless mistake..

I'm not at the point where I can say I forgive you to the person face to face so why not write & vent here?

I forgive those who have ever bullied me or others.
I forgive those who have left my side
I forgive those who doubted me even for a second at my lowest points.
I forgive those who have done me wrong & lied to me whether it be for my own good or theirs.
I forgive those who have ever hurt me.

Is it easier to forgive or forget? Comment your opinions below!

My life as of now.. well the majority of it ! lol

You know.. I've never been one to complain about being out of school.. but as of right now. I am more than ready for senior year to begin! Friday I get to go in and take my senior yearbook photo.. I am excited yet nervous. Because let's face it.. my smile is.. lets just say.. not the best. That's probably one of my top insecurities. Maybe I will just do one of my funny gestures and stick out my tounge lol. Senior year has lots instore for me.. Student council.. Teacher Cadet.. Yearbook staff.. and not to mention some honors classes I have.. I have to start applying for scholarships.. Actually decided what career I want to pursue.. Visit different colleges.. SOOO.MUCHHH. omg. I'm kinda scared about going to live on campus and being away from my family.. I'm sort of a home body if you couldn't already tell.. Lol... But as of right now things seem to be going good! I actually had a lot of fun today my dad gave my brother a hair cut.. & I got to help! Scary I know... lol but I think he likes it.. and hey! Saves us a couple bucks. Maybe I will cut hair for a living.. lol na. I'd probably make someone bald D: Relationship wise.. I'm still single.. lol just like I was when I created this blog. Umm.. I do like this guy but I feel things wouldn't work out for certain reasons... 

I have a question for you guys..

If you really like someone and you are apart of one religion but they don't necessarily agree.. what do you do? would the relationship work out?

Comment your opinions below! I'd LOVE to hear from you guys!! :)

Class of 2016 babbbyyyyyy

Well.. in about 10 more days I will finally be able to call myself a Senior! All the hardwork has finally paid off & I couldn't be happier.. the never ending 12 years is finally coming to a close.. but i'm not going to waste away my Senior year. You best believe i'm going to make it something I cheerish for a life time! It's crazy to even think that this time next year.. I will be about a week from graduating!!! How crazyyyy... to be honest I don't even know if i'm ready to.. I mean what's it going to feel like packing up my stuff and moving to college.. not being home every night and seeing my family.. I'm afraid that the friends I have made throughout highschool will become a faint memory... I'm so excited to see where God takes me throughout this journey yet at the same time.. Nervous. My senior year I plan to blog a lot more... giving yall the first person insight into my senior year.. I want to capture the memories and hey maybe even share them with you all! I pray to God that I don't wish away my life quickly.. These 12 years have not been easy and more importantly Junior year has not been easy! Such a challenging grade... so much more effort has to be put in and honestly I think I have worked my butt off to be where I am today! Well.. with the help of God, family, and friends toooo of course! :) I hope to look back on this one day and let myself never forget all the good times I shared and to never.. EVER forget the ones who mean the most to me..I'm so excited to see what plans God has instore for me! Whether it be what career I will choose..or even where the wind may take me...! All my life i've wanted to be a nurse.. and who knows! I may very well become a nurse.. but I met someone Junior year that completly impacted my life.. A teacher of mine.. She has taught me the true defintion of an amazing teacher.. She inspires me and so many ways & has truly helped me out ! There was a time during my Junior year.. not to long ago actually where a good friend of mine passed away.. well she helped not only me but our entire class to get back on our feet again.. and I could never thank her enough. I would love to one day inspire someone in the way that she has inspired me.. I would love to be someone that an individual looks up to for guidance.. Who knows.. we will just have to wait a couple years and see where life takes me... ! It's going to be a crazy ride.. but theres no doubt about it .. I'm up for it!

Spring breakin' it! We are truly blessed..

As you guys already know i've been off for quite some time now! Things have been so hectic and crazy that I haven't really had much time at all to blog! I've been busy registering for my SENIOR classes next year! I am so so sooo excited.. but at the same time nervous and scared because that means i'm one step closer to college! So today I just wanted to talk about the true meaning of Easter... what would you say if I asked what is the true meaning of Easter? As a kid I always was so excited to wake up and see if the Easter bunny had come... and I was super excited for the Easter egg hunts! I agree all that is fun but what we should really be thinking about is Jesus! I know I know... I have my opinion and you have yours.. If you don't believe or you're not a christian then.. so be it! I'm here to speak to those who do believe and have a burning love and passion for Christ! Or those who want to be christian but don't know anyone really to talk to.. I'm here to tell you that I am here to talk if you want! As long as you're respectful and nice to me I will do the same in return! Have questions? I may be able to answer them.. If not I can ask someone who might or search around and find something! I don't know everything but I am willing to talk to any of you if needed! Comment below and get in touch with me, I will respond in no time! So.. true meaning of Easter, it all starts with Jesus and the suffering he went through to save our sins, I believe and know for a fact in my heart that Jesus Christ died on the cross for not only me but for you ... and you... and you.. and all of you! This weekend is for sure something.. within the span of three days Jesus died and rose from the dead. When I think about this .. this is what I say... how is it that someone who had never met me in person but only knew of me could risk their lives for me and suffer for me? It shows me just how much Jesus cares for me and loves me! He didn't have to do that... but he did it willingly! There is no greater love than that! If we think about it we are truly blessed... to have someone care so much for us.. Many question how Christians know that the bible is real and that Jesus is real.. and all this. My only answer for them is .. I walk by faith, that even when I cannot see Jesus I know he is there with me and there for me! Again... If any of you would like someone to talk to i'd be more than happy to! I'm not saying you have to! You have your own opinions but just if ya want to!:) God bless..! <3 

Spring~Break~Must~Haves~2015!

So.. It's about that time again.. Warm weather..Shorts.. SPRING  BREAK! Whether you're going to the beach..the mountains..Disney World.. or anywhere really there are things that I feel are a must have or a necessity when going on a road trip!

~Bathing-Suit: No matter where you're going I would always bring a bathing suit because odds our you're either headed to a beach or a place with a swimming pool!

~ Spring/Summer Dress/Dresses: Lets face it the weather is getting warmer and you don't want to be trapped in some hot sweaty clothes bring a couple of nice dresses that you could wear out to eat or just to have a little fun(going to the water/amusement park/ ect.)

~Sunglasses/Hat: Perfect for walks along the beach!

~Beach towel/Beach Bag: You need something to carry your stuff down to the water so why not buy a bag of some sort! They're not expensive at all ! I would also recommend bring a plastic type sandwich bag to place the things you don't want wet or ruined in.. For example, Money..Cellphone..Wallet

~Shorts: Any type of shorts is perfect to pack.. Like said above it is likely to be hot and if you're walking a lot its best to wear shorts .. especially if you're going to the beach and walking along the water!

~Sunscreen: This is probably one of the most important things you can pack for a trip.. Being sunburned results in a miserable trip! You don't feel like doing anything and more importantly you look like a lobster.. Please please please bring sunscreen!

~Flip-flops/Walking shoes: I always bring two pair of shoes .. I bring an inexpensive pair of flip-flops that I wouldn't mind getting dirty and I bring some sort of walking/running shoes just in case we're planning on doing a lot of walking that day or going on a hike!

~Water Bottle: It's important to stay hydrated any where you go ! If you plan on going somewhere where you're staying busy and always on the go.. or like I said taking a hike I would recommend bring some sort of water bottle!

Who knew liking someone could be soo.... DIFFICULT!

Have you guys ever liked someone so much much but knew it would never work out? That no matter how hard you tried... how pretty you tried to be for him that things like that wouldn't make a difference? These past couple of days I've done nothing but think.. It hurts to know that i'm holding on for nothing yet at the same time it hurts to let go and act like I don't care you know? Why does liking someone have to be so complicated ??? It just blows my mind to know that I spent so much time saying I like him and being there for him and just ugh... what do you guys think should I hold on a little while longer? Or should I save myself the heartbreak and just move on??  I mean I really like this guy its just.. I can't wait for something that may never happen!

Reaching out doesn't mean your weak .. it makes you stronger !

As an individual who's being bullied or feeling alone: ..you could scream from the mountain tops and never be heard.You could wear the brightest clothing yet still.. never be recognized. You could have the most soothing and calming voice yet never be heard or listened to.. There are thousands of teens who feel this way every.single.day. Those who feel like..they don't matter or no one would ever care about them.. There's those who get bullied every single day whether it be at school or a matter of fact anywhere in public. It breaks my heart to see so many individuals taking their own lives because they feel they don't have another way out.. I feel sorry for those who cut to numb the pain only if it does last for a few quick seconds... I'm here to tell each and every one of you.. Those who feel lonely .. hurt.. betrayed..I am here for you ! I will make time to talk to you if you're hurting! Don't ever think for a second that no one cares about you because I do! Shoot me an email.. comment below.. there's plenty of ways you can get in contact with me! Don't feel ashamed to ask for help.. no I don't know everything or know all the answers but I am willing to listen and be a shoulder to cry on! It's nice to have support from more than just friends or family.. turn towards God! Talk to him.. confide in him .. and I promise you won't regret it ! God works miracles <3