I'm back.. alright let's talk...

HEY GUYS! So.. I know you all are probably wondering where I have been.. considering it's been a couple of months since I last posted. Well, senior year has taken a toll on me! I have so much studying and homework and activities outside of school for school that it is just.. woah. A bit overwhelming! Haha but I wouldn't change it for a thing I love being a busy bee! I thought I would just put up a post not anything to interesting or exciting and let you guys know I'm still here. I know I haven't been as active as I should be but still.. I care a lot about this blog and continue to put it to good use!

So today I wanted to bring up and issue that has been heavily debated worldwide and that's suicidal thoughts/depression. If anything had to upset me or hurt me it would be to see how many teenagers battle such horrible things. I am here to not only make you laugh on this blog but to be a friend if that's the case. If you have ever been depressed/had suicidal thoughts or if you currently are just know that I am here for you. Whether it be two in the morning.. four in the afternoon.. it doesn't matter! I will try to get back to you as soon as possible! I hope that by me writing this you get some insight as to just how precious and valuable your life is. Don't just throw it all away.. God has a purpose for you!! Let Him work wonders.. Let Him take you far in life.. more importantly let Him love.you. I pray for you.. I pray things will get better with time.. I pray that you find the courage and strength to confide in someone and let them be there to help you and support you! Please understand how valuable your life is.. there will never be another you! Never.. and you're so unique, God made you special.. one of a kind.. I know sometimes it may feel like you've hit rock bottom but trust me.. You will make it through! You're strong.. you can turn your life upside down and around.. you can strive to make things better! All it takes its.. a little effort. That's it.. I believe in every single one of you.. that no matter what life throws at you.. you won't let it knock you off your feet. Please don't hesitate to message me if you're going through a tough time! 

Is this real life..

guys... today I went outside to check the mail box for like the 500th time these past two weeks & I finally got my acceptance letter! I'm going to college! & to make it even better it's the college I've dreamed of going to. Every time I would ride past it i'd be just so amazed at how beautiful the campus was! Now.. next fall I will get to call it my home away from home! I literally was crying today.. No. Joke.

I think it's so amazing how God works.. He blessed me with this opportunity...

He just works in amazing mysterious ways!

Every where I went after that today I blared my Christian playlist from the internet and basically just jammed out !

I literally felt so emotional today knowing that things are finally sinking in and setting into place..

A huge hardship has been lifted off my shoulders.. I don't have to worry about what i'm going to do after highschool or if i'm going to be able to get into college.. I'm so happy and content with the choice I made..

I feel that this University will welcome me with open arms and their love for God is never ending and that make's me love it 10x more! I can't wait to see where this journey takes me !

I'm so emotional tonight..

I need to start living my life for God. Not for me.. I need to put him first in everything I do. I want to be closer to him. I don't want to just come to him when i'm in need of help but I want to be there to tell him how my day was or something exciting that happened. I've gotten in the habit of not even saying thanks or praying some nights. That seems so selfish of me... As of yesterday I really just thought about it and I want my relationship with God to be my main priority. I'm so tired of feeling like I have no friends or no one I can come to when I have someone who has always been there for me .. Pouring out their unconditional love to me.. Waiting for me to give them a chance.

I haven't been living my life for God. I've been so selfish and worried about me. Worried about what others think.. being caught up in liking guys and getting so hurt and dragged down..

What I need is His light to shine on me because He knows best.. I just have to let him into my life. I can't keep shutting Him out. He welcomes me with open arms and at times I'm just so self-centered that I forget to talk to him or say thanks.

This last year has not been easy.. I've sometimes questioned why God would let things happen.. Why did He have to do it.. Why now.. Why to me..? I just didn't understand it. At all.. I was angry and didn't know what to say or think... But after awhile I realized that I had forgotten something.. That God will NEVER put you through something you can't handle.. It may be tough..but the challenges we face here on earth cannot compare to the glory of Heaven.. The life we live here on earth.. It's temporary so that's why it's important you live for God.

A goal of mine for this year...?

Be a witness to someone..

I want to tell them about the never-ending love God has for them. How much he loves them and cares for them.. How He stands their willingly with open arms..