Yuck.. love. Boys have cooties... Did we forget that ladies?

So.. Valentines Day is about three days away & I couldn't be more thrilled!!

Did you catch on to my sarcasm there? lol..

Valentines Day is really nothing special for me.. in fact I will be spending it at home watching Gossip Girl & maybe cleaning my house. I've never really been a big fan of you know the HUGE teddy bears & all the roses & chocolate. My thing is.. You really want to show me you appreciate me? Let's just hang out .. have a movie night.. eat junk food.. & talk about random stuff all night. You don't have to spend wads of money to show a girl you care.. It's the simple things that mean the most. Unfortunately, like I said I'm spending Valentines Day with no one.. just like it's been the past.. oh I don't know 17 years? haha. There's really only one guy that comes to mind.. but you know things don't always work as planned & you don't always get what you want. All that matters is he's happy! Right? :)

So to all you .. lovey dovey teenagers & couples in general out there.. I hope you all have a GREAT Valentines Day! Show your significant other how much they mean to you! Don't let the opportunity pass to tell them how much they mean to you because time is so priceless.. 

But really though.. boys have cooties.

Ew.

To the guy who will NEVER see this..

I've honestly never been able to tell you how I feel so here I am.. You want me to be honest? Well I have to be honest with you about everything not just a couple of things..

I wouldn't say that I liked you because.. it's not "liked" . It's like. or is it? I DON'T KNOW HOW I FEEL.. I could tell you I don't like you until I'm blue in the face but when I see that you like someone else or talk about someone else.. I get so.. jealous & I shouldn't because.. I'm the one who pushed you away. Lol.. I don't get it. Please just explain to me why I have to feel this way.. or why I had to have feelings toward you. I don't want to feel this way.. at all. I don't want to constantly worry or wonder what could have happened. I don't want to know that every time I talk to you or see you at a game that you're with someone who makes you so happy & I.. 

well I am just a friend there for support.. to talk with times get tough..

I want you to be honest with me.. how do you feel..?

If today was your last day to talk to me.. forever.. you'd never get to speak to me again what exactly would you say...?

Be honest with me.. 

That's all.. 

If you're reading this right now.. then you obviously know how I feel.. but I've yet to get the slightest clue as to what you're thinking.. things are so up and down it's hard to tell . 

Trust me I've tried so hard to just drop it and move on.. & you know what.. the second I really thought I was moving on from liking you last year.. You somehow popped right back into my life. 

Don't get me wrong, I'm glad your here.. but it's just.. 

Do I want to get hurt again?

That's the real question.

Lately I've been feeling bleh...

You know those days when you just feel bleh..? Yea that's totally me right now. Boys have got me all twisted in my feelings. Friends have me wondering if I even have any friends.. It's just a mess to say the least! At least I have God and my family though! Oh and 93.3 on the radio <3 I think I've become somewhat obsessed with this radio station. I don't know.. Oh a plus to this weekend is that it's actually been pretty.. GREAT! I've been pretty busy! Friday I went to a few haunted houses and let me just say they were AMAZINGG! Only down side was that... It was FREEZING.. from the time I stepped out of the car until the time I got back into the car I was shivering lol. We went to two places they both were equally good! Was very impressed with them both! & of course afterwards we had to stop by waffle house and eat something I mean come on.. what better thing to do at three in the morning! lol.. Yesterday I went to the movies to see the new Goosebumps movie.. It was so so good! I highly recommend that you go see it if you haven't already! Don't say no because you're a teen or anything like that because I'm currently seventeen and I LOVED it ! :) Now I'm just chilling and relaxing on this peaceful Sunday! Because.. Sadly, it's back to school tomorrow! I already have senior fever and it's not even the first of the year.. Still can't process the thought of me graduating in a few short months.. These couple of months are going to FLY BY!

Why is it...

Why is it that guys can flirt all day long but when you actually want something serious it's such a big deal. I've had enough flirting to last a life time! I want someone who I can trust... ... and just simply be.happy. Oh.. & I have come to the conclusion that most guys don't want an individual who is kind.. and has a great personality. They want someone with the most money.. and the greatest body. They could care less about how someone truly is within. & that my friends is why relationships don't normally work out. They go in all sorts of different directions and at the end of the day it's usually the girl that get's hurt! Maybe she got cheated on.. or lied to.. is there any decent guys still in this world? I mean.. not to put down all guys because I have some friends who are very nice and respectful but the majority is what I'm concerned about.

My life as of now.. well the majority of it ! lol

You know.. I've never been one to complain about being out of school.. but as of right now. I am more than ready for senior year to begin! Friday I get to go in and take my senior yearbook photo.. I am excited yet nervous. Because let's face it.. my smile is.. lets just say.. not the best. That's probably one of my top insecurities. Maybe I will just do one of my funny gestures and stick out my tounge lol. Senior year has lots instore for me.. Student council.. Teacher Cadet.. Yearbook staff.. and not to mention some honors classes I have.. I have to start applying for scholarships.. Actually decided what career I want to pursue.. Visit different colleges.. SOOO.MUCHHH. omg. I'm kinda scared about going to live on campus and being away from my family.. I'm sort of a home body if you couldn't already tell.. Lol... But as of right now things seem to be going good! I actually had a lot of fun today my dad gave my brother a hair cut.. & I got to help! Scary I know... lol but I think he likes it.. and hey! Saves us a couple bucks. Maybe I will cut hair for a living.. lol na. I'd probably make someone bald D: Relationship wise.. I'm still single.. lol just like I was when I created this blog. Umm.. I do like this guy but I feel things wouldn't work out for certain reasons... 

I have a question for you guys..

If you really like someone and you are apart of one religion but they don't necessarily agree.. what do you do? would the relationship work out?

Comment your opinions below! I'd LOVE to hear from you guys!! :)

Who knew liking someone could be soo.... DIFFICULT!

Have you guys ever liked someone so much much but knew it would never work out? That no matter how hard you tried... how pretty you tried to be for him that things like that wouldn't make a difference? These past couple of days I've done nothing but think.. It hurts to know that i'm holding on for nothing yet at the same time it hurts to let go and act like I don't care you know? Why does liking someone have to be so complicated ??? It just blows my mind to know that I spent so much time saying I like him and being there for him and just ugh... what do you guys think should I hold on a little while longer? Or should I save myself the heartbreak and just move on??  I mean I really like this guy its just.. I can't wait for something that may never happen!