I'm falling head over heels for a guy I can't have...

I think the title says it all... Feelings suck.

I'm so close guys...

So.. I am happy to say that I graduate May 25th... which is..  NOT THAT FAR AWAYY! I am literally so excited.. but yet I am also kinda sad.. I know these next few weeks are going to fly.by.. being that we have Spring break.. Senior skip day.. Senior camp out day.. UGH I can't believe all my hard work is finally paying off... 12 long years finally well almost over with.. & then .. It's off to college for me for the next four years ! :) I actually just got my stuff for graduation day Friday so of course I was super emotional! lol.


Then after graduation is SENIOR WEEK! Which will be fun.. Right now I'm just worried about getting through the third quarter of school.. Always the hardest & the quarter that takes forever to pass by... So many tests, projects, quizzes due... 

When is you guys graduation date that is.. if you're a senior?

What's something you will miss about high school! COMMENT BELOW!

Yuck.. love. Boys have cooties... Did we forget that ladies?

So.. Valentines Day is about three days away & I couldn't be more thrilled!!

Did you catch on to my sarcasm there? lol..

Valentines Day is really nothing special for me.. in fact I will be spending it at home watching Gossip Girl & maybe cleaning my house. I've never really been a big fan of you know the HUGE teddy bears & all the roses & chocolate. My thing is.. You really want to show me you appreciate me? Let's just hang out .. have a movie night.. eat junk food.. & talk about random stuff all night. You don't have to spend wads of money to show a girl you care.. It's the simple things that mean the most. Unfortunately, like I said I'm spending Valentines Day with no one.. just like it's been the past.. oh I don't know 17 years? haha. There's really only one guy that comes to mind.. but you know things don't always work as planned & you don't always get what you want. All that matters is he's happy! Right? :)

So to all you .. lovey dovey teenagers & couples in general out there.. I hope you all have a GREAT Valentines Day! Show your significant other how much they mean to you! Don't let the opportunity pass to tell them how much they mean to you because time is so priceless.. 

But really though.. boys have cooties.

Ew.

To the guy who will NEVER see this..

I've honestly never been able to tell you how I feel so here I am.. You want me to be honest? Well I have to be honest with you about everything not just a couple of things..

I wouldn't say that I liked you because.. it's not "liked" . It's like. or is it? I DON'T KNOW HOW I FEEL.. I could tell you I don't like you until I'm blue in the face but when I see that you like someone else or talk about someone else.. I get so.. jealous & I shouldn't because.. I'm the one who pushed you away. Lol.. I don't get it. Please just explain to me why I have to feel this way.. or why I had to have feelings toward you. I don't want to feel this way.. at all. I don't want to constantly worry or wonder what could have happened. I don't want to know that every time I talk to you or see you at a game that you're with someone who makes you so happy & I.. 

well I am just a friend there for support.. to talk with times get tough..

I want you to be honest with me.. how do you feel..?

If today was your last day to talk to me.. forever.. you'd never get to speak to me again what exactly would you say...?

Be honest with me.. 

That's all.. 

If you're reading this right now.. then you obviously know how I feel.. but I've yet to get the slightest clue as to what you're thinking.. things are so up and down it's hard to tell . 

Trust me I've tried so hard to just drop it and move on.. & you know what.. the second I really thought I was moving on from liking you last year.. You somehow popped right back into my life. 

Don't get me wrong, I'm glad your here.. but it's just.. 

Do I want to get hurt again?

That's the real question.

So Not Cool Saturday...

BACK TO OLD TRADITIONS!

So.. I haven't posted one of these posts in a LONG time .. You know.. It goes like this.. I tell an embarrassing story and you all laugh at me right? Lol that's okay though.. I enjoy making others laugh... just as long as you're laughing with me and not at me!:) So.. Let me think.

OH! Okay.. I've got a pretty embarrassing memory to share.. I think it was freshman year when this happened.. So, let me just start off by saying I LOVE going to plays. I find drama & acting to be super fascinating and cool. I know I know.. Complete nerd but anyways! That's besides the point.. So I had decided to go to the Grease play with my best friend & we decided to sit on the very top row.. well, there was SO many people there & obviously the show was great! Well.. before an intermission was called me and my friend decided we wanted to get up and I assume get some food before the crowd let out for intermission.. well there was no way for us to get out because again there was so many people so we decided to step up over the seats. Well, my friend did it in such a calm and orderly manor .. Well I was like hey! I can do that.. I go to step over the chair and my leg falls in between the seat. Also, let it be known that it became super quiet when I fell .. Every one around started to look around and it was just.. so embarrassing.. also it was the fact that my leg was STUCK & I started to panic which.. we all know worrying makes things ten times worse. But.. thankfully I ended up laughing it off... shrugging it off and of course getting my leg unstuck! XD So.. that night wasn't to terribly bad!!

Bahamas Vacation: Free Port & Nassau 2016

Hey guys! It's taken me forever to finally getting around to upload these pictures but since I've had some free time I thought .. What better time to upload pictures and write a post then now?! SO.. here I am!! I'm surprised I'm actually taking a break from watching Gossip Girl. I have surprisingly become obsessed with the series! Well.. my trip to the Bahamas was amazing! I wish I was still there but unfortunately we all have to come home at some point right? lol can't stay hidden away in paradise forever right? Well .. hope you enjoy the pictures I captured while cruising!!

Just the typical ranting post. lol

I've come to the conclusion that .. some things are just not meant to work out.. I've spent my whole life trying to please people and make sure they're okay but you know what.. I haven't even stopped a single second to make sure I was okay. It's like I've been running an endless amount of miles fixing or helping to mend patches in peoples lives that aren't necessarily the best but I haven't stopped to catch my breath. & to be honest I've gotten to the point where.. I can't keep running anymore. I can't help others and give others advice when I can't even take my own advice.. A lot of stuff has been on my mind the past couple of days.. I started back talking to an old friend of mine.. well for the second time! Just as friends though.. ! Well way back when I had the biggest crush on this person.. but I don't know .. thing's changed. & I feel so stupid because.. I'm the type of girl that doesn't admit how she feels .. I've always done that & I don't know why.. I like someone but I have a chance with them I always second guess myself and tell the person I don't like them.. but yet when I see they have moved on & are happy I get super jealous..I mean.. does that mean I still have feelings toward that person?

SOMEONE PLEASE GIVE ME SOME ADVICE. lol 

I'm tired of turning people away .. 

On a more positive note though.. I am headed toward the Bahamas in TWO DAYS! Lot's of pictures to come! Super excited to be taking my third cruise! It's truly a memory I will never forget! Oh! & won't forget all the amazing food either <3 lol.. how has everyone been? Any good New Years Resolutions...? Let me hear em!

Comment below!